Football & My Human
This football season I am going to make a concerted effort to bond with my human, Dan the Man. His real name is Steve but since he was the one who named me I thought it was only fair that I give him a new name as well. He seems to like it alright.
We’ve been together for over seven years and each year he tries to get me to watch football with him and I just can’t. What I can’t deal with is his personality change. Dan the Man is usually as cool as a cucumber but during football season, he becomes this crazy manbeast I don’t even know anymore. One minute he is overjoyed and the next minute he is yelling at the TV. I can’t keep up with this erratic behavior so I usually just leave the room. Oh, he also insists on wearing this insane looking hat with horns on both sides while the game is on. I don’t get it,but if it makes him happy looking like a Minotaur, then so be it.
Sometimes he invites his two friends over for the game. I am not sure what their actual names are because Dan the Man just calls them both “dude”. I just call them Talks Too Much and Burpie McGee. I like them both but they tend to get rowdy as well.
Despite all these challenges, I really do want to enjoy myself this year. I feel like I owe it to him since he’s so good to me otherwise. What tips can you give me so I relax with the fellas when the game is on? My goal is to try and sit through an entire game without leaving the room.
Doc the Beagle
What’s up? I am happy to help as always. From your letter, it looks like you may be having a harder time dealing with the fans of football rather than the game itself. Sports can be a bit tricky for us dogs to understand because we don’t keep score when playing with our pals. We run and catch balls because it is just what we do. Humans like to compete against each other when they play games because that is what they do and playing football is one game many of them seem to love.
Now, I know a lot of things but the specifics of football is not one of them. But really, what’s not to love about it? It has so many things that a dog loves already like ball chasing, marked territory to defend, a field of play, yards, and holding things. Sounds good to me!
Let’s get to the heart of why you wrote in. I know that you don’t appreciate it when Dan yells during the game. Random yelling from humans isn’t something we dogs take lying down. Instead of getting anxious or annoyed, channel that energy into the television just as he does. The humans have a saying that goes “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”. This means when he yells at the TV or gets grumpy, you need to show solidarity by growling at the TV or give some warning barks while you stare at it. Don’t just do this once or else Dan may think it was a fluke. Show him that you are on Team Dan!
For the times when Dan is overcome with joy because his team is doing well, you are also going to mimic his behavior. Wag your tail like you just won the Westminster Dog show whenever you hear him whoop,holler or fist bump one of his buddies. Singing the songs of our brethren may also be called for but if howling isn’t up your alley, just stick with wagging your moneymaker.
Another way you can show an interest in football is to look the part. Yellow Dog Design has engravable ID tags for every team in the NFL. Based on the helmet description and where you live, I took a stab at guessing Dan’s favorite team. Is it the Minnesota Vikings by any chance? Here is the link to the ID tag that you will definitely enjoy or at least Dan will. It’s good for us to have those types of tags anyway in case we get lost. Better safe than sorry.
Well, Doc, good luck to you during this football season and let me know how things work out. By the way, do you know where Dan the Man got his helmet? I am asking for a friend.