Dear Addie, I Am Going To Be A Hunting Dog

Posted by Addie on 2/2/2016 to Dear Addie
Dear Addie, I Am Going To Be A Hunting Dog

Dear Addie,

 I am one fancy poodle My name is Veronica and I am a Standard Poodle, but rest assured there is nothing standard about me. My pedigree is second to none. I am actually quite famous on the dog show circuit as well as being used as a model for world famous groomers.

Alas, I am six years old now and I am growing tired of being judged on my striking good looks. Lately, I can’t help but get the feeling that there is more to life than grooming appointments and runway shows. It was fun for a few years, and frankly, who doesn’t like to be told they are gorgeous on a daily basis? Am I right? I certainly enjoyed it for a while but I need something more to fulfill my life.

This is why I want to be a hunting dog. I can assure you that this is not a frivolous decision. I was watching TV with my entourage the other night when a commercial came on and it showed a dog diving into a pond at top speed to retrieve a duck for her human. I don’t know if it was the look of pure joy on the dog’s face while she was running or the music playing in the background but every fiber of my being told me that being a hunting dog is what I need to be after I retire from show business.

Now, I know for a fact that my owner and his pals go on hunting trips a few times a year. I also know for a fact that his pals bring their dogs along. What can I do to convince my human to take me? I don’t mean to sound like a total diva but THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!



Dear Veronica,

What you felt while watching that commercial was the call of the wild. It is a pretty powerful instinct that’s difficult to ignore because we, as dogs, are born hunters. I personally love it when my inner wolf comes out. It makes me feel more in touch with our wolf ancestry.

does this dog hunt?

And because I have been in your shoes before, I will forgive the diva moment you had in your letter. In the future, let’s make it a habit not to have one of those moments again. This isn’t my first rodeo if you know what I mean. Because you went ‘full on diva’ with me, I am not entirely convinced that you know what you are getting into when you say you want to be a hunting dog. One does not simply go on a hunting trip with their human and get to call themselves a hunting dog. Do you even know what this entails?

Please don’t think I don’t support you in wanting to change your career. I am all for it but I feel you have not given this any thought and you will be in for quite a culture shock if you are actually allowed on one of these hunting trips with your human.

Before I try and help you, I need you to take this self quiz on what to expect while on a hunting trip. Please answer each one honestly.

  • I am fine with not being the center of attention the entire time.
  • I am fine with all bugs.
  • I will not freak out if I am loaded with fleas and/or ticks upon my return.
  • I am fine with mud on my feet.
  • I am fine with sleeping on the cold floor.
  • I am fine with sharing a water dish.
  • I am fine with being outside all day.
  • I am fine with doing whatever is requested of me.
  • I am fine with loud noises.
  • I am fine with weird noises.
  • I am fine with nature hikes.
  • I can run really fast.
  • I will not steal any animal my human asks me to retrieve for myself.

If you answered “no” to any one of these, then I would reconsider holding off on this huge life decision you are about to make until you are ready. If by chance you answered “yes” to all of them, then we have some more discussing to do. If your heart is in it and this is something that you really want to do, then I will be more than happy to help you to achieve it. Being a hunting dog can be fun and rewarding.

Good luck to you Veronica and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Dutifully,
Addie

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