The Cat's Double Life
I never thought that I would have to write to you for advice but this is a crazy situation that needs your attention. Yesterday, I found out the cat has been living a double life.
My family and I were out on our family walk and who do I see but Mr. Meowgi, the family cat, in the window of one of our neighbor’s down the street. The little bugger was sleeping on top of the couch so he didn’t see me (thank goodness). I knew it was him because I took a big whiff of the air towards the house and sure enough--that confirmed it.
I have to say that I am shocked but not surprised that this has come to light. I always had my suspicions about him. Please do not think I am one of those dogs who does not like cats. This isn’t the case at all! In fact, when I was just a puppy, Mr. Meowgi’s predecessors Ziggy and Bob, took me under their wing, showed me the ropes, and told me that everything was going to be alright when I missed my litter mates and my mom. Those two were the coolest cats in town I tell you.
So...when my family took Mr. Meowgi in as a stray a year ago, I was all for the idea. I missed having a cat around. Initially, he would come to the door and mew until someone brought out a little piece of food for him and then he’d quickly leave. After a week or so, he would just stay on the porch and take a nap. I must admit, I felt sorry for the little bugger. After a while, they just let him in. To my surprise, he was well-mannered and very charming. Perhaps a little too pulled together for a stray to my liking but I let that first thought pass right out of my mind. I was determined to show him the ropes just as Ziggy and Bob had shown me.
Everything was sunshine and roses for the first few months but then things changed. He became distant and aloof. He would no longer purr when the humans pet him and he would disappear overnight on several occasions. The most curious part is how plump he got. My humans fed him the same thing every night, but he just got more chubby. Then one night about six months ago, I heard him maniacally laughing in the backyard as he said to himself, “You’ve really done it this time kid.” I didn’t understand what he meant by that at all until yesterday. Now, it all makes sense.
Addie, this act of disloyalty can not go unpunished. Doing so would go against everything I am as a dog. He is also giving cats everywhere a bad name. What do I do? He doesn’t know that I know about his secret life. It’s only a matter of time until I snap.
DeeDee the Bloodhound
Please be sure that you are sitting down when you read this reply. You are not going to believe this. Four months ago, I received a letter from a cocker spaniel named Mia from your hometown of Indianapolis. She also wrote to me in regards to the family cat she was a bit suspicious of but couldn’t quite figure out what was out of place. In her letter, she spoke of a nice bloodhound who lived down the street who might help her since they are known for their detective work and keen sense of smell. However, the problem was that she was too shy to ask.
After I received your letter, I had a hunch that your situations may be linked. My team and I did an extensive investigation into the matter to confirm. Ready for this? You are indeed the bloodhound she mentioned in her letter.
It looks as though you have a bonafide moocher in your midst. I had to call in a lot of favors to get answers for you and for Mia, but it looks like Mr. Meowgi/Clive/Bootsie has not just two, but three houses he currently calls ‘home’.
I can not believe the nerve of this cat. Like you, I can not tolerate disloyalty to one’s pack. In order to help you and Mia and the other anonymous dog, I called in a few more favors to have about fifty “LOST CAT” signs hung around your neighborhood this week. I would bet the farm that once “Mr. Meowgi/Clive/Bootsie” sees one, he will probably need to lay low for a while. I don’t expect you will see him again anytime soon. Hopefully, he will learn the error of ways and stick to one pack only in the future.
Once you have put this matter behind you, introduce yourself to Mia from down the street if the opportunity arises. We have contacted her as well about this whole fiasco. She is excited to meet you and become friends.